So one thing some folks don’t know about me is, I love
baseball. I follow the football and the basketball too, but no one of my
affection for those sports touches my love for baseball. It’s part of America
to me, and one of the best parts. This is ironic because one of the worst parts
of baseball resides right here in my hometown, The San Diego Padres. The Padres
suck and they’ve never done shit. It’s embarrassing. Their games are miserable
to sit through, especially if you love baseball like I do, because they can’t
do a damn thing on the field. It’s been this way for some time now,
unfortunately. They’ve already set a record for offensive futility just two
weeks into this baseball season,, being shutout five times in their first ten
games. Disgraceful.
Worse still the Padres did not even try to put a wining team
on the field this year. They traded away a bunch of their best players and
replaced them with nothing. Nice strategy, Pads. Why is there even a team named
“Padres.” First of all, it’s a Spanish word and no other team in any sports
that I can think of are named in Spanish in this country. Second, it’s a
religious. Name. Bring me The Brooklyn Rabbis and I’ll be OK with it, but until
them, it’s just dumb stacked on dumb stacked in stupid… In my humble
opinion.
Worse, OK. A couple years ago they were so bad that the
entire team was hitting .221 in June. Around that time, I became a regular
guest on The Mighty 1090’s, (San Diego’s Sports Leader, Talk Radio 1090AM) The
Scott and BR Show. Scott Kaplan is a radio and TV personality and Billy Ray
Smith is a San Diego Charger legend. Both of these men have been very nice to
me and I have enjoyed being on their show about a dozen times at this point,
years later.
My bit, on their show, is a I write and sing silly,
satirical, and/or stinging songs at the expense of our local whipping boys, the
Padres and the Chargers. Thanks for your commitment to sucking, guys. This
tune, “Theth Thmith: A Lisper’s Nightmare,” was one that never made it on to
the air. During their pathetic wheezing at the plate in 2014, I wrote this tune
about the only hitter they had who wasn’t humiliating our National Past time each
game, Seth Smith. Unfortunately, they tossed Seth after the season and this
song has never seen the light of day ‘til now. When your team blows, (not my
team, GO YANKS!) “Theth Thmith: A Lisper’s Nightmare” may well be the most
clever of all the songs I wrote for Scott and BR, but here it is years later,
for you, now, Enjoy! Lisper Pride!
Operation 365 2 – Jefferson Jay – Covers – 115 “Talkin’
Baseball” by Terry Cashman
May the baseball bash rage on. Love me some hardball. Years
back, I bought www.terrycashman.com because I loved this tune so much. Still
do. It even brought tears to my eyes on Opening Day 2015 at Petco Park. Still
mourning the loss of the great Jerry Coleman that day, this song transported,
and still takes, me to a simpler time, where the majesty of it all is palpable
and touching. What a great job by Terry Cashman writing “Talkin’ Basbeall.” I
thin I want to write a “Talkin’ baseball type song for Bernie Sanders, a tune
that eloquently sums up all the reasons something is so great while staying
catchy and whimsical. I love it.
Cheers to Terry Cashman. Thanks for writing this tune. If
you want your domain name, hit me up. I guarantee we could work something out.
Then again, if you cared about stuff like that. I’d have heard from you already,
most likely. Lots of love and thanks for all the summer time smiles and your
beautiful bouncy walk through baseball history. Marvelously executed like a
picturesque suicide squeeze.
Operation 365 2 – Jefferson Jay – Words– 115 “Interview with
a Nigel”
I’m throwing on my Barbara Walters cape here today, for a
hard-hitting interview with one of the most exotic and enigmatic animals living
in my house today, Nigel. This elusive terrier, rarely meets with the press and
in fact, this is his first recorded interview in the mainstream press to date.
His hard-hitting, provocative stances on all the major issues of the day are
certain to have folks buzzing at the water-cooler Monday morning.
Don’t miss what’s sure to be front-page news on the web and
in all the major papers worldwide in the days and weeks to come. Prepare to
have your socks blown off with this series of incendiary bombshells, courtesy
of local puppy heartthrob, Nigel the Assassin.
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