Thursday, November 10, 2011

350 days in.

350 days in, it's as fresh as it ever was. Life... in a string of mysteries. Where one moment it might seem like things are settling in, another change awaits around the corner. Leading you in a particular direction, the moves keep on making. It's not you making them. It's not them making you. It's just moves, in life, making. life, doing what it does, lifing.

It is unpredictable like weather. It is neither bad not good. It is like the rain. Do you like rain? Does it bug you? Does it matter? Either way, it's rain. Wet and outside. You may as well embrace, cause in this world sometimes it's gonna rain. Even if you live in San Diego.

Are you entitled to anything? Not really. Though it's nice to think so. Love. Food. Happiness. It's nice to think we have these things coming our way. We all deserve this, I feel. But, no. We see people without these things, constantly. It's tragic.

So, what do we do? Remove ourselves resigned to this inauspicious fate? Not I. Wake up again. Rebound, Resilient. Setbacks are set-ups for the next great adventure. For every door that closes, another opens they say. Will you walk through it with grace and dignity? Like someone whose been there before? Or will you smash down the door someone who doesn't know what to do? Which are you? What's true?

It's late and with 37 and a half plus years to deliberate, I am still astonished every day, with what people are willing to do each other. The cruelty. To rip away security heartlessly and say it's all in a days work. The rat race. Darwin would be proud. Petty people puttering to drag out of the sadness. I don't even know what that means, exactly. But I see sad people at work each day. Every so often you run across one who wants to fuck ya, and not in a good way.

This life, full of whim and vigor, jam-packed with light and trust. That's the one I'm after, the light and trust one, but we can't decide completely. We can decide our minds. Share what's there and refuse despair as thoroughly as possible, accepting fluctuations day-to-day. Never let the wisdom go away. There are answers everywhere we need to choose to read. Sometimes it's best to ask for help. You're not the best at everything. Concede.

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It's been nice connecting with you world. I'll likely be away for awhile. I Doubt I'll still be in here anywhere near every day, but I'll try to find a way to bring a smile. It's been a nice exercise in patience; persistence and doing what's in mind. Normally, I'm not likely to share this much of myself. Each thing that happens is its own unique moment in time. Just mine was 365 days this time.

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